This next story continues to bring tears to my eyes, every time I tell it. It truly was a moment I will never forget.

My son had lived with me, his entire life. He had a relationship with his father and saw him frequently, but always lived and stayed with me.  Brew, I and the kids all moved to Bend OR, when my son was eleven. His dad agreed with this decision. This is a very long story made short, but when Nate was 13, he went to visit his dad in San Diego for Christmas break. He was to return to us, in Bend after break was over. I got a phone call from his dad, a few days before he was to return home, telling me that my son would not be coming back to Bend, but would be staying in San Diego. He told me that it was his turn to be the full time parent, and that I was to agree to this. He went on to say that I had had him his entire life, and it was time to let him live with his dad.  I was in shock. This had never been discussed before.  I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach.  I was sick. His dad and I lived very different lives, with different belief systems. I began to argue, but no use. His mind was made up. We had never made custody arrangements through the court system, so I could not lean on that.  I needed to hear from God immediately.

I will never forget, getting down on my knees and crying out to the Lord, ” If this is Your will that my son stay with his dad, I will trust You and let him go. If not, I will fight this with everything I have. Please God, I need a answer. Help me.” I thought to myself, “how is God going to show me? I will not find in the Bible the words, ” your son will stay in San Diego or come back to Oregon.”  I needed a answer. With desperation and tears, I surrendered to the Lord.  I trusted God with whatever answer He decided was best.  I knew His ways are not our ways and I needed to trust His wisdom over my desire. My heart was broken.

The next day, Sunday, I woke up and clearly heard  that I needed to go to a different church that morning than where we usually attended.  I knew it was God’s voice.  I have no idea how I even had ears to hear, or ability to move forward with this, but did. I remembered a flyer I had received from a church that had a outreach during Halloween time. I told my husband that we needed to go find this church and get there.  I only remembered the name of the chapel, so I got out the Yellow Pages and began to search. I found the address. We all jumped in the car and headed about 20 minutes out of town to this tiny chapel in Tumalo OR. We walked in about fifteen minutes late.  There was approximately thirty people in the church, and they were just finishing up worship.  We sat in the back, behind about ten rows of empty pews.  After worship, the pastor began to pace back and forth at the front of the church, saying nothing. We did not know if this was typical, so we just waited patiently for what was next. He suddenly spoke up, “There is someone here who is in anguish and turmoil over her son.  The Lord has heard your prayers and heard your son’s prayers.  He is not with you right now, but is where I want him.  I have placed mentors and teachers in his life for a specific purpose and reason. You have taught him of Me, and given him to Me. He will walk with Me. You say, Thy will be done, Thy will be done.  My will is being done. He is where I want him. You are still his mother and always will be.”

At those words, I sat gripping my husband’s hand, tears streaming down my face. The God of the universe, reached down from heaven, choosing to speak to me. He spoke clearly and specifically through a man willing to be used by Him. I was surprised, overjoyed, and at total peace. Every prayer, spoken and unspoken was heard and answered. I could not believe the love of my Heavenly Father, that He would see me, hear me, and show me the way.

This is our God.

That day, I knew what I was to do regarding my son. I called his dad that night and told him that my son could stay. Yes, it was hard, yes I missed him terribly. But, Almighty God, creator of Heaven and Earth, had spoken. I did not have a doubt about what the will of God was concerning this matter.

Ask, and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock, and to him who knocks, it will be opened. Matt. 7:7