This picture was given to me, a few months after my son drowned in 2015.

When my friend gave it to me, I didn’t like it, because that was not what happened for my son.  God didn’t take hold of him the way I wanted, or what I thought that scripture meant.  He didn’t draw him up, back to life on earth.  I couldn’t understand it! That verse felt exactly the opposite of what it says.

My friend told me that verse was for me now. That my Father God will draw me out of the deep waters that I was drowning in. But that didn’t feel real, right or even possible.

Last weekend, when I was outside in my garden, I noticed a Monarch butterfly, laying flat in my pool, and not moving. I thought he was dead. I reached down and gently scooped him up and held him.  He began to move. I was astonished.  His little wings, were heavy and full of water.  He slowly began to wake up, moving his legs, lifting up to stand, only to collapse again. He continued trying, weary and wobbly. Once he could, he began standing in my hand, and persisted to walk up my arm. Over the next thirty minutes, he made it all the way up to my shoulder where he stayed.  After a while of resting there, I tired to move him outside to my butterfly plant, but he would not let go of my hand. So, I let him be. Early evening, he let me place him on the plant, so I brought him and the plant, inside the house, where he rested through the night.  The next morning, I put him outside, to catch the warmth of the morning sunshine.  I went back into the house, looked out the window and watched him gracefully and full of life, lift himself up, and fly away.

I wasn’t sure, what the meaning of all this was, but I knew it was significant. There was more to this  butterfly story.

God has and continues to scoop me up, hold me, let me catch my breath, and move however slowly I need. Always present and in tune to my heavy heart and wounded soul. Never pushing me, always loving, attentive, patient, gentle, caring, forgiving and protecting.  He waits for me. He has never left me or forsaken me.

“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters.”

Just like He did for my son.