It was Christmas, about six years ago. We were all sitting around the table after a beautiful day of celebrating Christmas together. Nathan’s Uncle Jimmy, started making up a funny song about Nathan. We all laughed and enjoyed this song. He used the tune from “Mary did you know?’ That’s a song you hear on the radio during the Christmas season. It speaks to Mary about her son Jesus, and tells her of all the things he would be doing in his life and for this world, as she held her baby boy in her arms.
As we were preparing for Nathan’s Memorial, we were looking through our family pictures. We came upon the song my brother had sang that day. He had typed it out, framed it, and gave it to me as a gift for my birthday that next year. When we found it and read it together. We could not believe how true and telling it was about my precious son’s life. We were stunned. And, it felt almost prophetic in a way…
Sheri did you know that your baby boy will travel Mexico?
Sheri did you know that your baby boy will speak Espanol?
Sheri did you know that your baby boy has lived on an island solo?
Sheri did you know that your baby boy will fish for Derado?
Sheri did you know that your baby boy will actually earn some dinero?
Did you know that your baby boy has always loved the Mutante Ninja Tortugas?
Nathan, did you know that your best amigo will marry an esposa?
Sheri did you know that your baby boy will surf many waves in the oceano?
Sheri did you know that your baby boy will be significo?
Sheri did you know that your baby boy will always love his Mama?
Sheri, did you know?
The last line in the song ends with a questions mark. I will fill that in now.
Sheri, did you know at 26, he would die in the ocean in Mexico? Did you know that you will not have him in your life and your other children’s life for the majority of time you are on earth? Did you know that your time is short with him so make the very most of every minute because he will leave? Sheri, did you know that he will never again walk in the door, he will not be with you at Christmastime ever again, you will never see him married or hold his child? Did you know you that you would hug and kiss him for the last time, last Mother’s Day? Sheri, do you know that there is no greater pain you will face, and you will carry it with you for the rest of your life?
No, I did not know these things. The song did not tell me those things. I am in shock, caught and held in mid-air.
I could of never thought these things could ever be true……
I believe Nathan experienced the scripture below. My hope is that in this hour, I will too:
He reached down from high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters. Psalm 18:16
Russell benton
Sherri , wow this is an incredible share! Nate was such a character that songs about him would flow easily. When he moved from Carino’s to El Pescador, he would still come in every night and hang just as if he still just finished a shift (Paul and him were so so so tight) . one night in my surly attitude from running around the pizza shop. I named him Nomar. He did not work at Carino’s no more. It was funny and I had fun saying Nomar. He didn’t like when I explained it but with his usual style let it slide and learned to embrace it. His last laugh is how I cry about not getting to him physically around No Mar. It really bums me out…I know he wants none of us to be in pain…and that he is indeed still here with us….but damn it hurts. Love Russell
Sheri Briggs
Russell, thank you. That was so special for me to read. Thank you dear heart
Russell benton
Sherri , wow this is an incredible share! Nate was such a character that songs about him would flow easily. When he moved from Carino’s to El Pescador, he would still come in every night and hang just as if he still just finished a shift (Paul and him were so so so tight) . one night in my surly attitude from running around the pizza shop. I named him Nomar. He did not work at Carino’s no more. It was funny and I had fun saying Nomar. He didn’t like when I explained it but with his usual style let it slide and learned to embrace it. His last laugh is how I cry about not getting to him physically around No Mar. It really bums me out…I know he wants none of us to be in pain…and that he is indeed still here with us….but damn it hurts. Love Russell
Sheri Briggs
Russell, thank you. That was so special for me to read. Thank you dear heart
Gwendolyn
Dear Sheri,
My first son Max is three years younger than your Nate was. We also have a 12yo Sebastian. Hearing about your loss has changed my perspective of living and embracing the moment. The love and compassion that you share as you post your most excruciating feelings is an inspiration to others that are grieving the loss of a loved one. The powerful process you are going through and writing about is the bravest and best way to begin the journey of healing. I have been a grief and lost therapist for those who have lost a spouse or child and I am so proud that through all this you are expressing, feeling and acknowledging the depth of your loss. That was the hardest challenge that I had when attempting to encourage my client’s to allow the waves of grief to come and go and not to repress the feelings.
God has given you the amazing gift of making an impact in this world by helping others through Bridge of Hope and by your natural/intuitive way that you are in the world. Sebastian, Max and I send out love and prayers to you and your precious family. The impact you have made on me as a therapist you will never know. Your beautiful son had an enormous smile and exuded the very essence of you as I remember your spirit when we were just, really little girls riding down hills and sharing our secrets.
I am always a Facebook message away, please know that your courageous words are not lost on anyone.
Love and Light,
Gwen
Gwendolyn
Dear Sheri,
My first son Max is three years younger than your Nate was. We also have a 12yo Sebastian. Hearing about your loss has changed my perspective of living and embracing the moment. The love and compassion that you share as you post your most excruciating feelings is an inspiration to others that are grieving the loss of a loved one. The powerful process you are going through and writing about is the bravest and best way to begin the journey of healing. I have been a grief and lost therapist for those who have lost a spouse or child and I am so proud that through all this you are expressing, feeling and acknowledging the depth of your loss. That was the hardest challenge that I had when attempting to encourage my client’s to allow the waves of grief to come and go and not to repress the feelings.
God has given you the amazing gift of making an impact in this world by helping others through Bridge of Hope and by your natural/intuitive way that you are in the world. Sebastian, Max and I send out love and prayers to you and your precious family. The impact you have made on me as a therapist you will never know. Your beautiful son had an enormous smile and exuded the very essence of you as I remember your spirit when we were just, really little girls riding down hills and sharing our secrets.
I am always a Facebook message away, please know that your courageous words are not lost on anyone.
Love and Light,
Gwen
Lisa Davey
Dear Sheri,
I’m Madeline’s mom and I just want you to know I have been praying for you ever since I heard the news the day after Nathan passed. I am praying for you now. Psalm 18:16 is one of my favorite verses — the whole Psalm is just filled with the imagery of God reaching down from on high and lifting us up … lifting Nathan up. And now I will be praying specifically for you that He will be continuously lifting you up as you travel this new journey you never ever anticipated. And you are being lifted up in prayer by God’s people everywhere.
My deepest, heartfelt condolences from one mother to another.
Lisa Davey
Lisa Davey
Dear Sheri,
I’m Madeline’s mom and I just want you to know I have been praying for you ever since I heard the news the day after Nathan passed. I am praying for you now. Psalm 18:16 is one of my favorite verses — the whole Psalm is just filled with the imagery of God reaching down from on high and lifting us up … lifting Nathan up. And now I will be praying specifically for you that He will be continuously lifting you up as you travel this new journey you never ever anticipated. And you are being lifted up in prayer by God’s people everywhere.
My deepest, heartfelt condolences from one mother to another.
Lisa Davey
Aaron Goulding
In tears and speechless.
Aaron Goulding
In tears and speechless.